evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Randomize
