I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
