sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
