im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
