tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
