This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
