Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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