areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He did a backflip because drugs
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
