he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
