Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
