i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
