If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
