We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
