We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
