Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
