how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
