My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
