Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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