U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
