i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
