Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I have already put on my inside pants.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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