Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
