2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
