maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
