Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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