Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
