ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
