i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
