The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
