ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
