If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
