I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
