sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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