He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
