Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
