i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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