summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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