Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
