What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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