my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
