It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
