what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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