Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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