who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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