I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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