Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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