dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
