I'm gonna have a badass scar
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
