ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
