The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
