would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
